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06/05/03 |
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05/08/03 In CIMs class, bored to death. So I started this website... just some ramblings of a girl stuck in a 45min class w/ no one here to keep her company.. the guys are ditching class like always.. Sukhi n jess are talking to the guidance counselor about Rutgers.. and gray is still trying to figure out where everyone is for attendance.. sooooo I was bored enuf to mess around w/ FrontPage.. might as well teach myself now for the final project webpage I said to myself.. well I taught myself this much.. too bored to go change the site so I figured I'd blab a few things down here.. well yesterday was my birthday.. like any other birthday.. we had pizza @ home.. Sukhi got me a lil star projector.. she's nuts.. but it's cute.. hmm.. birthdays aren't my thing.. I look forward to the pizza since we don't do that too often.. the gifts are ok... I'm not into the gift receiving thing.. the best gifts are the most annoying ones.. they pop out of nowhere & your not expecting it and so I don't know what to say or do.. like I said.. annoying.. anyways.. what else can I talk about.. how about college.. I've been wanting to go to NJIT since the open house they had.. sooki's applying to all the same schools b/c she doesn't know what to do or where to go.. if we go to college together it would be awesome.. this website needs sum sprucing up, but FrontPage is a drag.. mind me I can go from talking about one thing one min and then to something completely different.. GOSH.. all this time and to do what? ramble.. Bergen Tech... the best times of my life was spent in these halls.. I've known Sukhi since elementary school.. I moved to Bergen county from Camden county in 1994.. we moved to a town called Lodi.. the town was mostly Italian till all these Indians started showing up.. god.. with Indians you start out with one and then the population multiplies.. anyways.. I've known Sukhi since the fourth grade.. Lodi was the coolest town but can also be cruel.. things just keep getting better as the years go by.. I used to think the best years of my life were when I was still in south jersey, but then it got better in Lodi.. more friends.. and then that circle of friends expanded in middle school [it should have.. Lodi has about 4 elementary schools scattered around the town and only one middle and high school] middle school was fun.. I started to love science and math.. well I never thought that there was more to math than just adding and subtracting till middle school.. sure people [or kids] were racist against Indians in elementary.. and then the whole popularity stuff started in middle school.. but life sure was interesting.. I remember my first Christmas in middle school.. I asked for everyone's locker combo a month before, and they willingly gave it to me.. I decorated candy canes to look like reindeers and had them hanging in there lockers before Christmas break.. each one had a little message on a tag written specially for each person.. I've had a candy cain decorating n giving obsession since.. I remember for science class we had to make a parachute for an action figure and drop it down from the third floor.. mine took the longest to get down cuz I spent ages one it.. I watched operation dumbo drop a few times to make sure my parachute looked right.. and when it came down to the drop date.. mine knocked Jennifer's into the tree... lol.. that was sooo funny... and I remember the time I went over Miriam's house to make our final project for science.. we were supposed to make a volcano.. we left many baking soda and vinegar stains in front of her house.. lol...I never did get my grade back from that, but it must have been a good grade.. they put me in advanced science with my so called cousin the next year.. shefali.. I know I'm spelling that wrong.. I've known her since the day my parents moved up north.. her parents n mine knew each other pretty well.. I must admit.. if it wasn't for shefali, I wouldn't be the semi nerd I am now... she had an obsession with basket ball and good grades.. she taught me how to play.. and I excelled at it.. she used to tell me how I owe her one if I play for the WNBA.. lol.. she never had friend till moved to town.. don't blame her.. the American kids were pretty racist.. but then we made friends with the other desi kids that moved to town in the fifth grade.. elementary school up here wasn't like elementary down south.. down south elementary went from first to fourth grade.. up here it went to seventh grade.. well at least the high school years are the same.. back to shefali.. she was pretty cool.. she was the first one to ever give me & piku a birthday gift.. i don't think she knew it.. she gave me a helmet cuz she saw how i always rode my bike without one.. and she got piku [a first grader!] a chess and checkers board.. lol.. she knew i knew how to play chess and checkers so she figured i could teach her.. i've seen my parents go through a hard life in america.. me and piku never asked for much from them.. down south rina's parents would throw her a birthday party every year and my parents would get a gift for her on our behalf.. she would get all these gifts, but she wouldn't care to much about them.. she was cool like that.. when she got her first bike [first grade] it was like it was our bike.. we'd take turns riding it.. it had training wheels and as time went on the training wheels broke off bit by bit.. we eventually knew how to ride a two wheeler.. both our dads went out one day and got us new [used] bikes.. me and piku grew up without toys or birthday parties.. mom eventually felt bad for us and got us a barbie doll.. of all the things she could have gotton! she would let us [mostly piku] play with it for an hour or so and then she'd pack it up nicely and put it on top of the refridgerator... anyways.. we weren't looking for gifts.. mom would watch cartoons with us every morning on the weekends.. i liked that.. and now we try to watch a movie with mom at night and she dozes off in the middle... back to shefali.. i kinda miss her in a way.. she always had a problem with my friends.. it was weird.. when rina came to visit me shefali was over and at he end of the day all anyone remembers is how rina hates shefali and shefali hates rina.. neither one of them could tell me what happened that day.. it's the same with shefali and sookhi.. they used to be really really close friends.. and then somehow they just stopped.. odd.. and neither one of them again knows why.. 1995 was the year my parents and i went to JFK to pick up my older sister... I was the oldest one in the house till this one came along.. we used to fight every now and then... it was crazy.. i don't even know why... non of my friends ever got to know swati... sukhi has never really had a conversation with swati.. my friends only know her through me.. she's the funkiest older sister you can have.. most of my friends are the oldest of there siblings.. i used to feel like i was till this one came around and told me i should come home earlier and get a hair cut paint my nails.. etc.. oh boy it was like i had a tv mother or something.. even though my friends never talked to swati, they knew her from me, and they always thought that swati hated them or something... swati changed the way our family worked.. we were more of a family when she came into it.. mom spent most of her life at work.. mom's been working nine hours a day every day of the week now till the day we moved up north.. my parents dream was to own a house.. we started to eat out or go visit people and travel more now.. with swati in the county my parents were a little more relaxed.. swati knew how to cook so mom could work overtime.. when she got a job she would get us better school supplies and we got better cloths.. up until her arrival we were wearing things grandma bought from india [sure made us stick out]... we stuck out less with the stuff swati got us.. me and piku always had a really really close bond.. it was odd how we would quarrel of who'd get swati to like them more.. piku would clean the floor.. i would let her clean the floor...lol.. i'd do the bathroom.. all for a hug from her.. she was the first person to hug us.. me and piku had our own beds.. swati would just pick one and sleep with us on it.. shed hug with her loooooooooooong arms and it felt good.. she still does that.. even though we have our own beds she would just come over in the morning and get under on of our blankets and we'd talk about something.. ok.. class is over in five min.. gtg...
05/09/03 Another day.. another CIMs class.. well here's an interesting email I got from my cousin in England that I thought I might stick here before copying it to my email... LAYER ONE LAYER FIVE: -- smoke: nOOoo! u smell, u look like poopies... and u dIE -- cuss: nOooPeSs... i don't use profane language... -- sing: ehh.... is that screechin u heAr?? thats mEee! Sill working on it... [i'm not that bad] -- take a shower everyday: i Try Too.... and then we have those days when u see flies buzzing around mee... i slept late v.v -- have a crush: ^^ -- do you think you've been in love: nopes... not yet.. -- want to go to college: afraid, but yes.. i'll miss my friends.. y can't i take them w/ me? oh yeh.. they hate engineering.. shoot.. -- like(d) high school: yeAah... best year of my life so far... -- want to get married: definitely ^^ -- believe in yourself: when i need confidence... i usually have it... but i need a lil boost... -- get motion sickness: uGh... don't think so.. was fine whale watching last month... [no whales..] -- think you're attractive: wHere did the beauty chromosomes gOoo??? [i am who i am] -- think you're a health freak: hMm... up to a certain extent... [can't get certain people to see that brushing at night is a good thing] -- get along with your parent(s): majority of the time -- like thunderstorms: only when im sleeping... or r far away from where it striKes... love watching the rainfall... -- play an instrument: hav an interest in piano, flute... violin... and guitar, but i can't play anything yet.. would love to play!!! own no instrument!! boo hoo.. LAYER SIX: -- drank alcohol: heck NO! yukkkkieee stuff... can't get past the rotten smell.... -- smoked: what? nOo -- done a drug: suGaRRR!! -- had sex: nNooopes -- made out: nOoopes -- gone on a date: nopenope... -- gone to the mall?: this saturdAay... more like site seeing.. hehe.. checked out a couple of watches & roamed around the WIZ and came home.. my usual.. buying for myself takes alot of research.. easier to buy for sisters.. -- eaten an entire box of oreos: nooOopes [braces] -- eaten sushi: ewwwww... it can see me... -- been on stage: does middle school grad count? hehehe.. my school dosn't have a stage.. lucky me.. -- been dumped: where? lol.. nopesnopes -- gone skating: aHhh...*CraSH* [big skater... started w/ the four wheels (third grade).. all the way to inline skating (fourth grade)] -- made homemade cookies: bAke SaLEee! yessss.. too much hassle.. y not just buy a pack of chips ahoy!? -- gone skinnydipping: nOoopeS... who know's what's lurking in the waters.. -- dyed your hair: its natural ^_^ -- stolen anything: the class pencil... the point broke off of mine... LAYER SEVEN: ever... -- played a game that required removal of clothing: huuuuuuhhhhh? wot kinda game is that? -- if so, was it mixed company: wot? -- been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nOoopes -- been caught "doing something": what exactly is "something"? i don't think i did... -- been called a tease: bad grammer... -- gotten beaten up: noPes...hONEY IS StRoOOnG -- shoplifted: NoooPes -- changed who you were to fit in: Doesn't everyone go through that... the younger years... never worth it... LAYER EIGHT: -- age you hope to be married: 25? no more than 30 -- numbers and names of children: three kids.. dunno yet.. my sister is keen on calling my sugar baby for health class Ginko Baloba.. hehehe.. the name dosn't sound so bad after hearing for so long.. -- describe your dream wedding: mid august... in india... in my acutal house... with the groom riding a horse over... a night wedding under the stars [w/ mosquito and bug zappers at the corners] -- how do you want to die: sleeping?... -- where you want to go to college: NJIT -- what do you want to be when you grow up: an Engineer of some sort... dunno which one.. maybe civil or mechanical -- what country would you most like to visit: JaPAN!! fRAnce, england, italy, australia, new zeland... [the world pretty much sums this question up] [me big on traveling] LAYER NINE: in a guy/girl.. -- best eye color? hMm... indian guys r brown/black... but i like blue.... -- best hair color? any natural color sounds fine... -- short or long hair: medium to short.. don't like long.. -- height: taller than me... 5'1/4"? lol -- best weight: hMm... if i like the guy.. then it won't matter much.. but as of now i prefer anything but lanky or stubby... -- best articles of clothing: Fitted t-shirt and loose jeans? hmm.. men in black r always nice! -- best first date location: if i wanted to talk then somewhere quiet [riverside or under the stars].. if i don't want to talk too much then a museum or amusement park... -- best first kiss location: Under the stars... after the wedding... LAYER TEN: -- # of people i could trust with my life: my close family and selected friends [as of now that's 2 people] -- # of CDs that i own: 400 [all are CD-Rs] [would like to own music cds but they're costly -- # of piercing: ears!! 2! -- # of tattoos: none -- # of scars on my body: err...too many to count.. very athletic.. some are from roller blading and some from skiding across the gym floor in basket ball.. -- # of things in my past that i regret: LOADS... [like not applying to bergen tech sooner so i could go to frost valley] but there in the past... so it's all good.............
06/05/03 friend's hurt.. but there happy.. me no hurt back.. it's depressing following in the shadows.. it hurts to be left behind.. painful to be left behind for new friends.. the agony.. i'm slipping away unoticed.. i'm being allowed to be slipped away.. am i supposed to just leave six years of a friendship to slip away? i don't want it to, but it is.. painful as it is.. she's happy.. so i should just forget about it.. we built a sandcastle far from the shore only to have the full moon's tide wash it away slowly.. i'll never make another sand castle again.. never shed a tear for those that let you slip away.. never look back.. move on.. njit.. i hope your great company.. i hope you keep me busy enuf to over look my surroundings.. pe@ce by the way.. i got an A on my CIMs website.. it was the best looking from the class.. it's unfinished.. but the final exam is coming up.. no point updating...
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This site was last updated 06/05/03